It’s been a while since my last post, and even though there was such an overwhelmingly positive response over explaining my little crazy existential crisis, I definitely needed the break. Not only to work on my real estate course (which I finished!!), but also to get my head together. Because the more I thought about it, the more I started to realize that this wasn’t just a sudden existential crisis merely brought on by a coaching session. I started to realize that I was probably going through my quarter-life crisis. And so I welcomed it with open arms!!
And by welcoming with open arms I really mean that I buried my feelings and stress and pretended that they didn’t exist. I’ve been feeling a little lost for a while now and have been lying to myself about it. I blew it off as stress from my admin job, or frankly just stress from not knowing what I’m doing with my life. Turns out it was much more than that.
While I was in graduate school, I applied for (I kid you not) close to 80 jobs. You know how many I heard back from? Maybe 10, only one of which was for an interview. The rest or those responses were flat-out rejections. Most I didn’t hear about at all. So here I was, finishing up a program that I (by that point) hated after all the drama going on with my thesis, with $30,000 out in student loans and no foreseeable way to pay them off. Quite the crisis if you ask me.
I was told that, despite being over-qualified for every job I was applying for, there was always someone who was more qualified than I was. Either they had a PhD (even though only a bachelor’s was required), 10+ years experience (which clearly I can’t get unless someone freaking hires me), or it ended up being filled by someone within the department. Which sucks if you ask me. So instead of going back to school for my PhD just to get my foot in the door, I decided to switch gears. Because #sorrynotsorry, I’m not going to get myself even more buried in student debt and waste another 6ish years of my life in school only to land a job that pays $30,000 – $40,000 a year with little to no opportunity for advancement.
Thankfully my dad was kind enough to offer me a job to hold me over until I figure out something else. But that still left me with the question “what do I do now”? As hard as it was to make the decision to give up forensic anthropology and forensic science (at least for now), I had to decide on something. I finally settled on real estate, which is something I honestly always made fun of. After all, it’s something that anyone can do and with minimal effort. Which, to me at the time, was “beneath me”. I had a master’s degree gosh darn it! I should be doing more than something I could have done right out of high school! But the more I thought about it, the more I was drawn to it.
I absolutely love solving problems and figuring out things, but I also love making people happy. Which is why I enjoyed forensic anthropology so much. And is why I loved flipping that house so much. Every day there was something new to figure out, new decisions to be made, another problem to solve. And while it wasn’t easy, it came naturally. And at the end of it all? I got to hear how much the person who bought the house loved it. And it was such an amazing feeling – knowing that I helped create something that she loved.
I knew then that this was something I wanted to do. So I enrolled in my real estate course and have slowly been working on it. After I enrolled, I finally started to think that I was past my quarter-life crisis. I had it a little bit early sure, but now it’s all done. Turns out that was only half of it…
I enrolled in my course months ago. So why in the world am I only finishing it now? Because frankly, I haven’t been making it a priority. I’ve been telling myself I’ve been so busy with other things, but it’s mostly because I’m still not sure if I’m on the right track. Knowing that I’ve already pursued something that didn’t work out, it’s not hard to see why I’m a little skeptical at times. I’ll go a few days feeling great about where I’m at and what I’m doing, just to feel like complete crap about it the following week.
Thankfully I FINALLY finished my coursework, leaving only my exam to study for. But what was it that gave me that final kick in the butt I needed to get it done? Remembering why I was doing it all in the first place. After that coaching session I had I remembered my blogging why, but I also realized that I had forgotten my career why somewhere along the way too. Which is why I took off last week. I want so much more than what I have and what I’m doing now, and I’m over blowing it off. So I sat down and was honest with myself – what do I want out of my life, what do I want to do?
I want to travel the world and I want more than just a career – I want an exciting life too. But I still want a career that I can be proud of. Which I know is a tall order, but I’m determined to figure it out. Since I started my course all those months ago, I’ve decided to look into real estate development in addition to traditional buying/selling houses. After I get my license, I’m planning to reach out to a few developers in the area to get a better idea of what they do and where I can start. I’m hoping to make a career of flipping and developing.
And as of right now, it sounds like the perfect balance of everything that I want and enjoy doing – I get to be a little creative, every project is different and challenging and there’s plenty of room to grow. I’ll get out of it what I put in, instead of working and not seeing a result. I’ll be able to afford to travel. And even though it might not have been my first choice, I feel good about the path I’m on. Instead of fighting it and raging on about mistakes and decisions I’ve made, I’ve learned to just keep swimming and embrace this crazy journey.
So even though I don’t have everything figured out yet and I’m not 100% finished with my quarter-life crisis, I’m starting to feel like things are on the upswing. The worst is over, now it’s just up to me to get the rest of the way. Wish me luck!
So what about you? Have you had or are currently having your quarter-life crisis?
Comment below or email me at email@example.com!